06 Mar A way out to Compelling Porn

Pornography is a vice that is killing lakhs of students and youth. Out of curiosity many students and youth get into pornography. But as time passes it becomes an addiction and they find it very difficult to come out. Your friend or any other person may not know about your internal struggle. but you may be burning with guilt and shame within as you are unable to come out of this addiction.

Why porn is so compelling?
Unfulfilled thirsts takes us to pornography. We have many thirsts. When they are left unfulfilled, it takes us to pornography and the urge is so compelling one finds it very difficult to overcome. Making a list of thirst of one’s soul helps one to understand what triggers one to pornography.
Lust is also the outcome of our disordered desires or failures or brokenness we encountered. Especially irritation, loneliness, reminiscence of the deception you encountered, failed love relationship, etc can lead you to pornography.

Some of the thirsts may be :
• Attention—I long for people to like me. I long for your embrace.
• Affection—I long to be enjoyed. I long to be delighted in. I long for you to take pleasure in who I am.
• Affirmation—I long to know I have what it takes. I long for your blessing.
• Acceptance—I long to belong. I long to be desired.
• Satisfaction—I long for fullness. I long for well-being.
• Significance—I long for impact. I long for meaning. I long to be powerful.
• Security—I long to know I will be okay.

Some tips to overcome
Have exclusive fasting and prayer continuously to come out of this evil.

Delete all porn material you have in any form (book, CD, search history, etc).

Identify your triggers (some brokenness, unfulfilled desire or some affection) which lead you to pornography. Having identified your triggers try to find what other way can these needs be met.

Identify some of the circumstances that lead you to pornography. One example may be seeing an attractive wall poster.

Do not browse when you are alone or in your private room. Have limited data pack. Write the objectives and work to do with a time limit before sitting to browse. Do not delete search history.

If needed install softwares that filters porn. K9 security is one good software to filter porn. You can also use accountability software covenant eyes.

Both have powerful free versions as well.

The key to break porn
Though the above mentioned tips may be helpful to overcome pornography; that is not the key. The key is a right and close relationship with God.

When we have a strong relationship with God the stronghold of pornography starts breaking. You might have tried with the different steps mentioned above and failed. Start considering devotion seriously. Try to get more close to God and it will take you away from pornography. Daily meditations and solid prayer life are the antidote. Daily take efforts to memorise scripture and recall them. Also when you feel your triggers are raising their head immediately take it to God.He will give some way out.

Use the life jacket!
Many times when we are about to fall into pornography something will come out as a life jacket. It may be a phone call from your friends, someone knocking at your door, current going off or any of the like. We should take heed to them and we will be able to overcome . Remember the power of Holy Spirit is very much available for us to live a Holy life. He will take you enable you to fight back and come out victorious from the temptation.

Afterthought

Remember sometimes you may have a relapse. Don’t worry, fight again. Have an accountability partner and share with him. In a course of time with prayer God will help you to overcome completely.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2 (Bible))

Conclusion
I was battling with this for many years. God helped me to come out of this victoriously. Pornographic addiction can be a history and you too can have a victorious Christian living. May God the holy One who is praised “Holy, Holy, Holy” by the angels help you to shun from this evil.
Adapted from the book Surfing for God written by Michael John Cusick. Thomas Nelson, Inc publication 2012.

Benalin
The author stays along with his wife Selin and son Jagdeep in Varanasi. He along with his wife ministers among post matric students there. He can be contacted at cr.benalin@uesi.in. He also blogs at www.benalin.wordpress.com