28 Aug Suggestions for Contemporary Discourse on LGBTQIA++ with Empathy and Understanding

Traditionally a discourse was perceived to be an intense debate or exchange of ideas on a subject. Several college campuses in the past had debates on contemporary topics and issues influencing students. However, in today’s world, discourse primarily seems to happen through close-knit relationships and social media. The abolition of Section 377 in the last decade has contributed significantly to embracing equality, diversity, and inclusion. Social media influencers have been quick to make reels and normalize acceptance of all preferences. Campaigns such as “Love is love” have gained strategic popularity. Responses to these need to be short and articulate on the same forums. In this context how we can have a meaningful dialogue conversing about these issues is something we need to think through. Here are some suggestions for us to consider:

1. Build authentic relationships – Having a discourse or dialogue in the context of authentic and transparent friendships matters, especially for Gen Z. It’s important to have friendships where a healthy exchange of thoughts, ideas, and disagreements can take place in a “safe environment” without fear of judgment. Reducing these relationships or discussions primarily as an “evangelistic project” needs to be avoided. Building relationships takes intentional time and effort, especially with those who identify as being part of the LGBTQ+ community. It requires us to look beyond their orientation and behaviour, and to know them more personally.

2. Overcome fear of interaction – Jesus is our example. The way He interacted and made intentional conversation with those whom others would avoid was counter-cultural. He genuinely sought to know them, gently probed them, and challenged their understanding. We need to ask Him for wisdom in ensuring we have meaningful conversations. Though we may not have adequate knowledge of the people with whom we wish to share the gospel, communication and dialogue is an essential part of the process.

3. View people as multidimensional – Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman in John 4 has much we can learn from. It was intentional and thought-provoking. The interaction has an amazing tension of grace and truth. He did not try to fix her immediately but probed her and enabled her to face the reality that what she was pursuing was not going to ultimately satisfy her. He never gave up on the person nor compromised with His convictions. We need to follow this example and minister to others wholistically. While we cannot be certain how to respond in each situation, the Spirit of God guides us. While we may not have all the answers or be able to articulate everything perfectly, we can empathetically seek to understand.

4. Bear witness to the fullness of God’s truth for sexuality – we must understand God’s design for sexuality and how a world under sin has distorted it. While verses from scripture that focus on homosexuality could be used as a starting point for discussion and not condemnation, aspects such as why this is “unnatural” from a creation perspective and how the practice of homosexuality was prevalent even in the New Testament period causing Paul to make specific mentions of it, highlights the fact that as created beings we need to exercise stewardship of our sexual desires aligned with God’s plans for our lives. Instead of singling homosexuality out, we need to address the full breadth of sexual sin and brokenness. We live in a fallen world, and all of us bear wounds and scars. Pornography, divorce, and even heterosexual sex outside of marriage proportionally affect us. When others see that even we repent individually and as a church for all the ways we’ve fallen short in these areas and walk together toward submission to God’s will, with humility and openness about our failings and struggles it paves the way for others to be open and transparent about their lives as well. The admonition of sinners is also a work of mercy highlighting the need for God’s grace.

5. Challenge the notions of identity – articulating the aspect of finding freedom through Christ and how embracing the identity God gives is liberating should be an integral part of the discourse. We could speak about contemporary living examples of those who have had same-sex attractions without choosing to act on them and embraced the new identity found in Christ. Their testimonies bear witness to the fact that there is greater meaning and satisfaction in knowing Christ than just acting on their inclinations, i.e. their main identity is no longer defined by their sexual orientation but by God, the One Who created them. This view challenges the norms of LGBTQ+ as the primary identity is drawn from who they perceive themselves to be based on how they feel and not just how they behave.

6. Unpack the current trends and beliefs – Tag lines such as “You do you”, “Love is love”, and “My body, my choice” are all framed to pander to the self over anything else. When we get to define what love is, our feelings become God, defining what we should do. Does God define love, or do I? Is God love, or are my feelings my God? It can’t be both. These need to be countered with the truth of how God defines love and why God chose to have moral safeguards. The Bible anchors love in the moral law of God. We need to look at every aspect of life within the grand story of creation, humans made in the image of God, falling with the imputation of Adam’s sin, requiring the sacrifice of Christ for rescue and ransom, and living in Him as victors over sin and ambassadors of God’s call to all to repent and believe. When we fail to do this, the only relevance and place left for religion is the view that says Jesus is welcome to bless and affirm, but not to judge or to ransom.

7. Follow good online etiquette – given today’s trends while we may also need to choose to counter or converse online with those with divergent views, we need to ensure we tread softly with gentleness and compassion. We need not boast or brag about the views we hold onto but we can empathize and lament about everything wrong in the world. It’s good to be conscious of our failings and truthful and honest about them We must also be courageous in standing up for what is true. We must not end up winning the argument but losing the person.

8. Sharing what it has meant for us to know and follow Christ – sharing our testimony should be more than sharing how we came to know Christ and believed in Him for our salvation. The truth that we are living out our life for Christ means denying ourselves, taking up our cross and following our Lord—including sacrificing romantic dreams and sexual desires when they are calling us away from Him is something that we need to articulate. Also, the fact that we are not perfect and we are not meant to live out our lives in isolation. Whatever our patterns of attraction and temptation, we’re meant to need each other, confessing, and growing together in the community.

These are some general principles that we can follow both in our personal interactions as well as a collective strategy in having meaningful dialogue with the LGBTQ+ community. We should avoid shying away from interaction or taking the moral high stand, looking down on those who identify as part of this community. All of us are sinners who need God’s mercy and since we have experienced God’s grace, we should extend that in all our conversations and interactions, depending on God through much prayer, being led by His Spirit.

Prabhu Dhanaraj hails from Mysore and involved with UESI since 1997. After completing his M.Tech in Information Technology, he has worked in the corporate IT sector. He served as the Executive Secretary of UESI K and is now part of UESI National Communication & Networking Department as Graduate Secretary. He resides in Bangalore along with his wife, Deborah who is a special educator. Interests include gardening, apologetics, teaching, and counselling. He can be reached at psdmysore@gmail.com