18 Jan 7 Habits of Highly In-Effective Mentors

A highly ineffective mentor is one who

1. Does not praying for the mentee
   This mentor hardly remembers and prays for the mentee in his daily personal prayers and family prayers. While mentoring, not praying for your mentee is one of the simplest but costliest mistakes you can do. As God is the one transforming the character of people, it is essential that you uphold your mentee in your daily/family prayers.
2. Is too spiritual
   This mentor always speaks about spiritual matters and never enquires about mentee’s personal matters, family concerns, studies etc. The myth that mentors must be fountains of wisdom or possess thorough Bible knowledge discourages many from mentoring. The process becomes much simpler when mentors understand the proper focus isn’t on what the mentor knows—it’s on what the mentee wants to learn. The mentor serves as a resource and guide for the mentee’s learning process.
3. Meets once in a blue moon
   Meeting once in a blue moon will never make any impact on the life of mentee. Regular meetings, at least once in a week or once in two weeks are essential to build character in their lives. If you are a mentor who meets your mentee once in 2 months then never expect any change in your mentee’s life, more over you cannot make any impact in his life.
4. Is a helpless mentor
   As a mentor you are the first person to respond to the genuine needs of your mentee. It is necessary to direct your mentee to look to God for all his needs, at the same time you also need to respond to his needs. Helping hands build a strong relationship between the mentor and mentee.
5. Is never a friend
   Unless you build a strong relation between the both of you, your mentee will not be able to open up about his personal matters / family issues to you. If you maintain distance, he may seek your guidance, but he will not share all his personal issues with you. Invite him to your home; go around with him for some time; take him along with you when you are going to some places. This is how you can build friendship with your mentee.
   “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” ― Benjamin Franklin
6. Thinks mentoring is no more a serious business
   Mentoring is a way of raising up mature Christian disciples in the Body of Christ. Jesus Himself took it as serious business and mentored His disciples who can take the Gospel to the entire world. What if Jesus did not mentor anyone? It would have been very difficult to pass on the vision to the next generation.
7. Is a perfect hypocrite
   Mentees aren’t passive receptacles to be filled by a mentor, but active partners in the learning process. mentees watch and learn most of the things by observing the lifestyle of mentor. Your lifestyle, the way you respond to people, the way you handle other people and things, the way you speak – all these have tremendous impact on your mentee. You can ]not teach truth and live an untruthful life. If you do so, you are the perfect hypocrite mentor.
   “Who is Mentor? I’ll tell you: it isn’t someone who teaches something, but someone who inspires the student to give of her best in order to discover what He/she already knows.” ― Paulo Coelho

Rama Krishna T, a software engineer in Hyderabad, serves in Kukatpally EGF and also as Evangelism & Testimony department secretary of UESI Telangana. Married and Blessed with one daughter.