03 Feb Wonderful Family Building tools

Speak within your family; else everyone will be speaking about your family. Words are wonderful family building tools. The current era is said to be highly advanced in communication technology bridging the gap between countries; but the gap within the families are increasing.

Depression, Divorce, Suicides are on the increase; one main reason is that they have not got the right word of comfort at the right time. Unspoken words stay hard on a person’s mind, increase stress, develop depression, and end in divorce/suicide. Husband & wife; parents & children many a time fail to realize the power in words of comfort and gratitude.

A heartfelt ‘SORRY’ is a powerful word to be used best when someone is hurt. We often try to justify ourselves than wanting to heal the wound making the entire situation from bad to worse. First we need to be sorry, then say it; later together discuss on each one’s feeling and conclude. This is a better way to handing family arguments than making individual conclusions.

‘THANK YOU’ on the other hand is a powerful word of expressing our gratitude. Our family members may be just doing their duty; but if we feel good about it, we must express it with at least ‘Thank you’. It makes the person enjoy what they do. We many times fail to say thank you and sooner our grateful attitude dies off.

The list goes on; the key factor is to say the words when they hit our thoughts. Our heavenly Father has repeatedly mentioned the power of words and the ways to use them. We, as believers need to follow and our homes must be set as examples to our society. Often our children come home from school/college, go to their rooms and start doing their work. Do we as parents spend time with them enquiring about their day? (Even if we are not at home when they are coming back, when we reach home after office, do we spend time with them everyday?). May be that day was a bad day in college, they wished to share it with you; since you were not there, they share it with someone else. Over a period of time, this new person replaces you (parents) and a new relationship grows.

This, many times have changed children’s life upside down and we parents realize it when it is way beyond control. We scream, shout at the children; parent – child relationships break.  Rather, talk everyday with them.

If you have missed doing that, say ‘Sorry’, renew your relationship with them and request them to let you help them at least from now on. . . Isn’t it better that we teach our children than let some others teach them? God has given them to us (parents) as a gift. We need to take care of them at any cost. Similar goes the stories between husband and wife.

On a particular issue of dispute, each of them makes conclusions in their mind having various thoughts. They fail to communicate with each other the thoughts, but only share the conclusion making the decision process the worst. So, it is better to share the thoughts with each other, accept them in the light of reality and together come to conclusions. Women are gifted with tears/ men with anger to balance their emotion; Each other needs to look beyond the tears/ anger for the intention; they are the unsaid words that need to be brought out to enhance our relationship. If we have misunderstood them, we need to say, ‘sorry.’

Remember, none of us can keep thoughts stored up in our mind for long, we need to share it; else they overtake us in some form of anger or pride. Ripe thoughts actually do not taste good, so say them when they are fresh. We need to be able to grow together, and as in Eph. 4:26; 27. “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Eph. 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

As UESI family let us be role models to make this world a better place to live.

About the Author

Anitha lives in Chennai with her husband John Wesley and two daughters Abigail and Annshel. She works with Cognizant Technology Solutions as a Biostatistician and John Wesley works with UESI TN as staff.